Seven things that will happen against Bolton today
Bolton Wanderers may well have a reputation as one of Arsenal's bogey team, but victory today would make it five in a row against the Trotters.
Looking into my crystal ball, I can predict a few things happening today:
1. New captain Kolo Toure will get the loudest cheer of the day when his name is read out and will put last year's rotten year behind him.
2. Kevin Davies will get booed by Gooners from the start and will be booked at some stage for a tackle that most of us consider worthy of a red (Davies has been booked in five of his last six games against us and nine times against us in total).
3. The home crowd will take a collective anxious breath every time Bolton get a corner or free kick anywhere near Manuel Almunia's goal.
4. Arsene Wenger and Gary Megson will argue on the touchline about the sporting virtues or intent of some of Bolton's roughshod tackles.
5. Robin van Persie's free kicks will continue to be a pale shadow of their previous accuracy.
6. Carlos Vela will come on as a left-winger and create more opportunities in the last 20 minutes than Samir Nasri has done all afternoon.
Can you think of anything else that will happen this afternoon at Emirates?
COME ON YOU GUNNERS!!!
DA
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Reader Comments (35)
Jack Wilshere will come on in the last 10 mins and create more chances than eboue will create in a lifetime
A Bolton goal scored from one the few free kicks they’d get. Probably a poor clearance from Song…… The usual amateur dumb ass mistakes.
bolton will win!
Nothing like stating the obvious lol
gooner: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. can surely expect that from eboooeee!!! But till he is wearing MY TEAM's red, Im surely going to CHEER him on till he scores his second goal today!! go gunners...
Large sections of the Arsenal fans will be booing - simply because they don't know the rules of the game, but think: a) your own players play within them & b) the opposition players don't.
Bolton will socre from a header in the first 15 mins!
The prawn sandwich brigade will arrive 10 minutes late, leave their seats 10 minutes before half time, come back 10 minutes after the second half begins and leave 10 minutes before the end of the game.
Whatever the result, Wenger will say that we played with great spirit and were perhaps a little unlucky. Also, that we are missing just 1 or 2%.
Eboue will bag a trick!
wenger will also say we were a bit tired and not that sharp
1. Arsenal will come out and play at the their usual testimonial pace and most of the first half will be like watching paint dry with the defenders happy to play their own game with the ball along the back.
2. Kolo Toure will mark his return with aimless long punts up the field to nobody. Meanwhile Clichy will demonstrate his continued presence with more crosses that hit the first man.
3. With the team struggling, Wenger will make his usual trademark weird subsitutions - namely putting goalscorers (ie Vela) on as wingers and continuing his quest to turn Bendtner into a pacy wide man.
4. In the absense of William 'the goal' Gallas, Abebayor will score a side-footed winner to once again mask the problems that continue to becet this poor side.
As Davies is the player most fouled in the Premiership I expect him to receive a number of fouls today, all of which will go unpunished. If Arsenal are not winning with a few moments to go the referee will add on a lot of extra time and if that fails he will book Bolton defenders to assist Arsenal attackers - same old story for the top four clubs.
After another home struggle, Wenger will hail this side as the best he has ever worked with. "We have never produced quality like that over a whole season before'.
The fans go home and see re-runs of games from the 98, 2001-2004 era and wonder where it has all gone so wrong.
Arshavin appear from nowhere and score a hattrik
Arsenal fans will wonder how exactly on January 10 in wenger's first full season we fielded the following side: Seaman, Dixon, Bould, Keown, Winterburn, Parlour, Vieira, Petit, Overmars, Bergkamp, Wright in wenger's first full season.
And now 11 years on we wonder how we have got to the situation where NONE of the current squad, let alone the first team, would get into that side if it was to maintain the perfect balance the '98 vintage contained.
Predictions;
A comfortable Arsenal win, of course and you never know? The home support might even get behind the team for an effin change!
You sad pathetic bunch of fairweather wankers!
Why even bother pretending to 'support' Arsenal?
Fair enough react like that IF we have fucked up AFTER a game.... Jesus H Christ!
We seriously are in danger of having the worst whinging bunch of twats in the league!
Wenger will use his favortie line. "We showed great spirit". Kolo Toure use to be so promising but shit his game has hit rock bottom. He has lost speed and is not the hard tackling warrior he used to be. The worst part he cant defend against set pieces and his men is always left unmarked in the box and Wenger never notices
Oh dear, another deluded rose tinted spectacled dickhead...
Internet blog sites;
Where even the most inadequate social misfit can spout off about something they know fuck all about!
Brilliant!
PS; Yep, I get the irony too!
Nasri will score 'cause he's all quality!!
Oh dear
Another fairweather plastic gloryhunting arsehole.
Fuckin joker
What IS the point of being a supporter if you are effin miserable BEFORE a fucking game???
There is no point point. Unless you are a masochistic gimp.... Oh you are! Sorry!
It is miserable being a Gooner at the moment - the team's rubbish
We've been effin unpredictable as fuck! Lose to Fulham, stuff Balckburn then go to Bolton (the media are STILL tryin to say they are our bogie team FFS!) and come brilliantly (the best 1st half performance Ive seen in effin ages BTW) then we capitulate against effin Hull, Stoke etc...
It is effin madening that this team can play so well, then fuckin not bother even turnmg up! I dont get it, I also dont get why Wenger never signed a CM in the summer, or why we aint got a better keeper or why we always have sooooo many fucking injuries???
BUT, I still support Arsenal and dont just effin bitch and whine BEFORE we've even played! If theres a time when we have optism, positivity oh and a fucking pair of rose tinted specs! Its fucking NOW!
Otherwise you may as well go and follow the ballet, opera or be dead.
Will you be there today Spike? Thought not.
om fucking god.. i am an Arsenal supprter.. and all of these loosers who cant support the fucking greatest team in da world. fuck off.. go and support an other team.. whats the fucking point of start crying before the game.. we have to have belief or else it will never happen.. and when it happens you guys is saying yes we are the best and all that.. FUCK OFF LOOSERS. and start supporting. fucking supporters who only are supporting when tings go well.. i think van persie and ade are a hell of a couple now v perise have showed how good he realy are. and nasri behaind the. we will have a great victory today.
Clarky
Not ther today, nope, but have been there all this season HOME AND AWAY! Unlike you plastic twat of a fan!
Funny how twats always assume you dont go to a game if they have a different opinion!
Twat!
Yeah yeah yeah...every home and away APART from today! You couldn't make it up. Muppet.
Aw diddums, I really need to justify myself to a plastic armchair 'fan' like you dont I?
I go to about half the games every season home and away, living 200 niles away from the Grove that aint too bad going.
How many do you get to watch on your mum's lap then?
Loads I bet!
Grow up you pathetic excuse for a supporter.
1. We will have a brisk start, creating many chances.
2. After 17 minutes of passing the ball around, approximately 1,000 times, never aerially, and making it look very difficult to thread the ball through the eye of 11 northern brutes, Bolton break casually and tear us in half, what with Toure trying to jump 0.5 ft off the ground, and Djourou spinning around in a circle, only to see Manual Almunia rush out of his goal and we concede early.
3. The critics get on our back, calling us a 'Soft Touch' and labeling us as 'poor defensively'.
4. Wenger looks angry.
5. We play badly up until 89th minute.
6. We start playing great football approaching 90th minute, scoring a goal in the 91st via a defender.
7. The game ends one-a-piece... Arsenal fans can't believe how they were 'done over today'.
8. Wenger, in his post-match press conference says, "we lacked a little sharpness today. Bolton were overly physical in the tackle".
9. When pressed on signing defensive players, Wenger, agitatedly, says, "We are not looking to sign anyone this January", to spite the media and get his own way.
10. Arsenal fans write "WENGER OUT" on blogs.
Your a genious. Fuck Nostradamus.
6 out 7 aint bad! dont remember seein megson and wenger argue
u wer nearly completely right
Well done on predictions 6 and 7. Amazing.